“What Part Does Grit Play in Your Life?”
By H. Bernard Wechsler

After finishing a long scientific article picked up by the national media, my mind raises the sub-vox question,

“What is the writer saying in simple English?”

If I blank on the answer, the page is deleted.

“A Penn researcher who studies high achievers says it isn’t I.Q., grades, or leadership skills that lead to success. It’s good, old fashioned stick-to-itiveness.”

The gist of the research is that success in everything is all about ‘passion’, (intense emotion), which is aroused through ‘grit’. A synonym for grit is courage or willpower, heart and stick-to-itiveness.

So what?

The proforma answer should now list all the ‘positive’ emotions that produce passion and grit, starting with love, joy, and peace of mind.

Surprise! The intense emotions that trigger grit begin with rage, envy, fear, and jealousy. In fact we are motivated ten-to-one by ‘negative emotions’ to create massive changes in our lives.

“That’s not fair! I deserved that promotion. I’m smarter than her. Look at that new Mercedes in his driveway, son-of-a-… It should be mine. Something has to change! And the killer negative feedback motivator, “You can’t talk to me like that!”

The University of Pennsylvania professor, Angela Lee Duckworth, says the secret of grit is ‘tenaciously pursuing something over the long term’. Sure you know that, but since the typical American watches TV up to five hours daily, who has time for grit and/or passion?

Left and Right Brain Skills

What about ‘ordinary folks’, without over-the-top I.Qs., who create extraordinary
successes?

“Persistence and determination is the secret because we learn by our ‘mistakes’. Working on a skill daily produces ‘Kaizen’, small improvements that add up to massive reactions. We get better, little by little, until we own the skill
or knowledge through practice.”

Why do they call it ‘trial and error’, not ‘trial and success’?

Answer.

We learn through our mistakes and rejections, not successes because the secret is negative feedback. Mistakes make us feel stupid, and we become angry. The result is to beat ourselves up to learn how avoid these mental and emotional insults.

Once we have learned the successful strategy we keep repeating it until it goes on auto pilot. That’s called programming or conditioning, not learning. We learn by obsessing about our mistakes and rejections, (negative feedback), and demand a practical solution.

Successful folks become compulsive about overcoming their ignorance in a particular area; negativity causes passion and grit. When you could spit nails in frustration - another negative emotion - you are targeted for winning.

Grit and passion reinforced each other, activating our left and right brain in a 75%/25% proportion, instead of the normal, 90/10. Courage (grit), changes the structure and function of our brain, beginning with our state of mind. Disrupt your comfort zone, and you will work 90 hours weekly to pass the Bar exam because your self-image is at stake.

Examples

The grit research on 1,223 West Point entering freshmen predicted success better than I.Q., SAT scores and past grades. This grit thing was a better predictor of winning than anything else for contestants in a National Spelling Bee, and kids in an elite prep school. It applies to them, and to all of us.

Until you get mad, excite your brain’s amygdala, you and I will seek out distractions and refuse to put in the time to win the marbles. If you aint passionate about something in a negative way, it is a pipedream not a reality.

Endwords

Professor Duckworth has the nerve to say: Grit is more important than intelligence. Grit (heart), trains us to overcome obstacles. She is working on how to train people to have this gritty skill.

The reason grit and passion are in short supply is not the availability of TV, the Internet, and video games. It is boredom which cover us like a wet blanket in a storm whenever we decide what we are reading, seeing, and hearing is not linked to our benefit. Remember the powerful question - WIIFM (What’s In It For Me?)?

Our ego has this WIIFM sign nailed up on our imagination screen. There is an immediate disconnect as soon as the answer is ‘Nothing!’

Grit and passion keep us focused on discovering the details of any new idea or knowledge that is in-sync with our deepest needs and desires.

Convince us we can benefit from what you have to say, and we’re all glued to the chair in a trance. Professor Abraham Maslow said, ’self interest puts us in the flow, in the zone, and produces a peak experience.’

All it takes is wake up grit is to answer WIIFM, with, “A lot!”

A. Einstein said, “None of my discoveries came from logical thinking. Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

Edward Lorenz at MIT, created The Butterfly Effect, and its principle, “Small changes lead to massive reactions. Predictability: Does the flap of a Butterfly’s wings in Brazil, set off a tornado in Texas?”

Finally

Can you answer these two questions?

1. What was the last thing you got obsessive and compulsive about?

2. What does it take to arouse your grit and passion?

Our system to train folks to have grit is not to talk it to death, but to offer specific skills to cope with boredom and normal distractions.

We call them BIS(TM) Behavioral Intelligence Strategies, two-minute power programs
to condition your mind for grit and passion.

You’ll recognize them by the six-steps to practice. It’s always your decision
whether to learn these techniques.

Do you have to lose your income (downsizing, outsourcing merger or bankruptcy), before you get mad enough to decide to change your destiny?

My pal’s Mom from San Antonio used to say, “A little bit of grits goes a long way.”

Get gritty, and win your personal game.
See ya,
H. Bernard Wechsler

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/199762

Gary Tilkin, CEO of Gary Tilkin Consultants, Inc.

My Thoughts Exactly

January 2012

Exciting News and Development Opportunity

“Boot Camp at The Beach”

By Mr. Gary Tilkin
CEO Gary Tilkin Consultants Inc.
Author: Professional For Life Development Series

Gary Tilkin Consultants, Inc. is proud to announce the acquisition of a new corporate facility in beautiful Miramar Beach, FL. Renovations will begin soon to provide “State-of-the Art” corporate training as well as usage for other events. Our monthly intensive Five-Full-Day “Boot Camp at the Beach” sales consultant and manager training course will be held here the last week of each month in 2012, with our first class scheduled for the week of January 30 through February 3. This five-day class is a modular class design. This means each day is a class unto itself and all five-days consecutively creates the finest automotive sales consultant workshop in the industry.

My organization and I hope you’ll take advantage of this new and exciting training/development opportunity that will allow you to enhance your staff’s ability to maximize profitability in the New Year. Use the following link: http://www.garytilkin.com/bootcamp.shtml for more information about “Boot Camp at the Beach”. Additional courses are also being developed in areas such as management, prospecting, inbound marketing, and more. Check our EVENTS page at the following link http://www.garytilkin.com/events.shtml for class dates and available dates for on-site training and consulting.

Best wishes for a healthy, happy and profitable New Year.

Five-Full-Day New Automotive Sales Consultant Training Workshop

“Boot Camp at the Beach”

Facilitated by Mr. Gary Tilkin LIVE
Miramar Beach, Florida
To be held the last week of each month 2012.
For more information, please CALL : 1-205-540-7371

Review Gary Tilkin Consultants Upcoming Live Tour and Scheduled Events Click HERE.

Gary Tilkin, CEO of Gary Tilkin Consultants, Inc.

My Thoughts Exactly

November 2011

Focus on Being In The Moment

By Mr. Gary Tilkin
CEO Gary Tilkin Consultants Inc.
Author: Professional For Life Development Series

Let me set up the foundation of my message by saying how much I enjoy working with folks who want to improve themselves as a life style. It doesn’t matter if that improvement is business, personal or both. When I meet these individuals it simple jazzes me and allows me to put up with all the airports, train stations, hotels and rental vehicles. If you are one of these individuals, you make my life fulfilled and I thank you for that.

When I think of the many people I have met who excelled, what comes to mind is a simple characteristic; they are always in the moment. This My Thoughts Exactly attempts to clarify what “In The Moment” means in sales, management and leadership.

When you meet someone, have you ever felt they said the right things but they seem not to be sincere about their motives? It was nothing they said or did, and then it was everything they said or did. These folks were acting the role usually by quoting a script, commonly known as a “word-track”. This is not exclusive to sales consultants. Management team members also fall in to the same trap.

The solution to me seems so simple; however, my attempts to channel my thoughts have met with stiff resistance or complete confusion by some of my participants. The approach is simply to not worry about where you want to take the business conversation at that moment. Instead, be part of the moment by listening not just to what your associate or customer is saying, but by listening and observing what they really mean. Now does that mean to forget about why you are there? No. It means the way to get there is to look for opportunities in the conversation. You can’t do that if your mind is elsewhere.

The truth is you simply can’t rush an associate or client in a business conversation. They control the progress because it is their mindset that gets us to our desired outcome. Whether that desired outcome is the sale or the associate’s improvement with a specific skill-set, the same approach is valid. Just be in the moment and allow the business conversation to take its natural course, with your assistance as the guide, of course.

So the next time you have the opportunity, chill baby, chill. Just be in the moment and see the magic happen. Thank you all for all the support you have given me and my family. Have a great month and remember to always be a “Professional For Life”.

October 2011

Leverage on your Assets!

By Mr. Gary Tilkin
CEO Gary Tilkin Consultants Inc.
Author: Professional For Life Development Series

The key to success in any business, whether you are the owner or an associate, is recognizing, acknowledging, and utilizing each person’s best assets. In the Professional for Life Sales and Management Development Program we call that utilizing the “Best Person For The Play”. It’s not always easy to see what someone is doing right, because we are wired to notice what they are doing wrong. But, observing and noting what someone does really well opens up new opportunities. These opportunities also leverage the utilization of Memory Traces when managing our associates.

I recently was at a dealership, and the sales manager pointed to a few salesmen milling around outside the dealership, and said, “Jim is great at drawing clients in to the dealership who would normally drive in and out…watch.” A car had just pulled up, and sure enough, they walked right up to Jim to ask his assistance. We must ask ourselves, “What was it that Jim was doing differently than everyone else?” Was it his body language, his smile, or did he just project a confidence that drew them in? Although it was difficult to put a finger on it, a little later after his customers left, I went up to Jim and said, “Customers seem to be drawn to you. That’s great.” Did I figure out what it was that made him stand out? No. But, by acknowledging it, Jim noticed it too, and was encouraged to fully leverage on his natural gift. Even more importantly, the other salesmen who overheard the exchange noticed it, too, and were maybe more apt to see how he handled himself and to emulate his success as well. We all have the opportunity to learn from someone else’s success, but first we have to acknowledge it!

I was at yet another dealership with the task of improving their ratio of return visits from unsold clients. I looked over their stats, and noticed one salesman, Ray, had a better-than-average rate of return. I listened in on his follow-up phone conversations, and it was apparent that he had a knack for establishing rapport on the phone, which didn’t seem like a sales call, but more like a friend touching base or simply Keeping-In-Touch. In many cases, his clients came back in for a second look because they didn’t want to disappoint him! That kind of skill is certainly not learned from a textbook, but is incredibly valuable. I spoke to the sales manager, and arranged for Ray to speak at the next sales meeting, and to do some role-playing with other staff on “establishing phone rapport”.

My wife, Tami, and I were recently having a conversation about how our natural talents are so very different. She’s great at research, writing, editing, and getting across a point in a few words. I’m better at engaging a group, speaking in public, guiding people to certain conclusions, and observing reactions. To leverage on her skills, she’s now helping me with my blog and website. My son, Alex, has a degree from Auburn University in management information systems, and is extremely knowledgeable about computers and the Internet. He is now helping me with my Internet presence and will soon be assisting some of my key clients. My daughter, Alyssa, recently changed her major at the University of Alabama to Public Relations, and you can bet she’ll be an asset to Gary Tilkin Consultants, Inc. in the future. Although we’re a “house divided” (Auburn/Alabama Football), we make a great team. Roll Eagle! War Tide!

Many, many other associates have had a powerful impact in my business over the years, whether their specialty was sales calls, writing, facilitation, online learning, website development, and other skills. If I had overlooked what those associates had to offer, I would not have had the opportunity to take advantage of their abilities, and to learn something along the way.

We can’t all do everything as well as we’d like to, but to be a success, we must do what we do best, and then seek, observe, acknowledge, and use the skills of the people around us! Leverage on your people assets for improved productivity, satisfaction, knowledge, and profit.

August 2011

What Makes A Person

Successful?

By Gary Tilkin

CEO and Founder of Gary Tilkin Consultants, Inc.

Author of the “Professional for Life Sales and Management Development Series”

What makes a business person successful?

In the course of my life and in my career, I have been fortunate to meet thousands upon thousands of people.   Part of my personal quest has been to put my finger on exactly what characteristics constitute a successful business person – what does a successful business person “look” like?  Many of us have preconceived ideas as to what that “look” is; successful business people are often thought to be aggressive, inflexible, closed minded, and even unfair.  Sadly, many individuals fit this description, but more often than not, these are common misconceptions. 

Most recently I was fortunate to meet an individual who personifies success.  She models exactly what I had hoped success would “look” like.  Her name is Gina “Gigi” Butler. She is the CEO of Gigi’s Cupcakes (http://gigiscupcakesusa.com ), a Nashville, TN based company that franchises her Gourmet Cupcake business within the United States.

 A short time ago, Gigi and her two month old baby, Kendall, spent a few days with my family at our home in Miramar Beach, Florida.  It was my pleasure and privilege to get to know Gigi and Kendall. 

Here is a bit of background on Gigi:

·         In her teens, she started a cleaning service which, to this day, she still owns.

·         Gigi baked and cooked like a pro and thought there was a market for 100% from scratch gourmet cupcakes.

·         Without pricey financial consultants, she did the math on a piece of paper and calculated how many cupcakes she would have to make to break even and make a profit.

·         Her landlord (now her business partner) did not want to allow her to rent space.  She convinced him to give her a chance. Now he is a member of the Gigi’s Leadership team.

·         She does not take “no” for an answer.  But, really, how can you say “no” to a person who has such deep and true passion for what she does.

So, what characteristics does Gigi have that are in common with other self-made successful entrepreneurs?

Balance Between Work, Family and Home:

As important as business is to Gigi, family is equally, if not more important.  Having her daughter and friend with us during the visit was wonderful.  Watching Gigi find the healthy balance between work and family made me reflect upon my own career. Much of my adult life was spent on the road working at various locations across the country and abroad.  I did not see my family often enough, yet I justified my actions by believing that this sacrifice would provide them with financial stability.  In retrospect, I’m not sure the price I paid and they paid was worth the end result.  Just something to consider…

Clarity on Brand, Product and Customer Service:

Gigi was sitting on the beach visiting with us while baby Kendall was napping.  When the subject shifted to consistency between each of her franchises, the tone of the conversation changed.  She was very serious as she spoke about product quality, customer service, and which exact product types could be offered in each franchise.  Consistency was key.   Variation to her “formula for success” was unacceptable.  As with many companies, this is the true test of any organization. The best example is McDonalds.  I have eaten a McDonalds all over the world.  The burgers are consistently mediocre but I always know what to expect; therefore, I am always pleasantly satisfied and never disappointed.   

Open Mindedness to New Idea’s and Respect for Others Special Skills:

There is a difference between being focused on key business issues and having an open mind to new ideas.  Gigi is very open to ideas on how to improve upon her products, customer ownership experience, associate engagement, or the strength of her organization.   The only criteria is that any recommended changes need to be across-the-board, so that each franchisee benefits and the brand stays consistent. Also, each new idea needs to be tested in a controlled environment (in one or two stores) before going franchise-wide.  Gig’s motto: all for one and one for all.

DO YOU GET THE POINT YET?

In reality, we are not talking about Gigi Butler or GREAT Cupcakes. We are talking about characteristics of successful people.  And those characteristics span all careers.  My focus is performance improvement.  Yours might be the automobile industry, floor covering Industry, motor cycle industry, banking, insurance, engineering, or even medicine.   So here is my thought for the month: learn how to be successful by surrounding yourself with successful, positive people.  Stay true to yourself and what you believe in.  Most importantly, as you venture on your journey toward success, enjoy your family and your friends.  Simply stated, enjoy your life. 

PS: Follow me on Twitter, Join my Friends on Facebook™, Linkedin, and Plaxo.

Respectfully,

Gary Tilkin

Mr. Gary Tilkin

“My Thoughts Exactly” April 2011

The Professional For Life

Sales Consultants Daily Plan

By Mr. Gary Tilkin

CEO Gary Tilkin Consultants Inc.

Author: Professional For Life Development Series

 It is amazing to me how talented the recent sales consultants I have met, trained, and developed are. They are intelligent, great conversationalists, and witty. They are really good people, to their inner most core.  Yet, they are somewhat undisciplined and disorganized. The challenge here is those two (2) specific categories are critical for them to grow and prosper as “Professional For Life” sales consultants.

The key for their future success is a GREAT COACH. We all must be crystal clear on this one issue: to get these fine folks to the next level, all of us have to focus on creating the emphasis on executing a simple and consistent sales consultant “Daily Plan”.  For their coaches, it is critical that they embrace this plan which includes, but is not limited to: team meetings (Forced Execution) in the morning, and daily inspection of their work/efforts (Film/Debrief Meetings) in the evenings to “Hold Their Associates Accountable” to their respective daily plan. For the sales consultant, it is critical to do their plan first thing and never let the day get away from them. For me, I must constantly remind ALL my “Professionals for Life” that “Successful People Do The Things That Unsuccessful People Won’t Do”.

Sales Consultant’s Daily Plan

The four (4) basic categories of the Sales Consultants Daily Plan are as follows:

Work With Customers:

The goal of any sales consultant representing any industry is to be Face-To-Face with a potential client at all times. To assist the associate, the coach has to emphasize the importance of having scheduled appointments daily. The true culture of any organization is to use positive re-enforcement when scheduled appointments are confirmed and the client does indeed arrive.  The second emphasis category of our coaching team is to focus daily on the sales consultants Follow-Up activities, which leads us to the second phase of our daily plan.

Follow-Up Activities:

The goal of any sales consultant is to “Keep-In-Touch” with unsold prospects that fall into the category of Hot or Medium interest daily. This does not mean we contact these prospects everyday. It does mean we honor the client’s frequency requests and never give up on our “High Adrenaline” follow-up activities. We must always remember the phone is but one tool to follow-up, we also can utilize text messaging, e-mail and “Go See” activities. From a coaching standpoint, we need to utilize our organization’s CRM computer program to monitor the Follow-Up activity and spot check to insure follow-through. We must assist our sales consultants to develop this critical Business Behavior through our encouragement, observations and support.

Personal and Business Education and Development:

In any profession other than sales, the daily focus on personal and business development is a given. It allows someone who is average to become above average and some one good to become great. Maybe it is watching a YouTube™ video on how to utilize Microsoft Outlook™ more efficiently, a manufacturer’s product knowledge video or utilizing the Professional for Life Electronic Playbook.  All these activities support and encourage Personal Education and Business Development. The coach needs to understand that neither this nor any other activity will happen without the coach’s constant insistence to focused, disciplined, and consistent follow-through of the Education and Development activities. Consider the Coach having their team doing wind sprints. Ask yourself:  what do Tiger Woods, Larry Bird and Michael Jordon do to develop themselves daily?

Personal Marketing:

The Art of Personal Marketing is really the medium- to long-term strategic approach to total and complete professional success. Through its focus on specific daily activities, it achieves sales consultant Name Recognition which drives increased percentage results in customers arriving at your organization and asking specifically for the Sales Consultant. This creates substantially higher results for the Sales Consultant in all four Key Business Outcomes. The simplest two-daily activities breaks down to:

Two-A-Day-The-Presidents-Way: This is when a sales consultant gains complete contact information for two (2) future clients over and above the clients they met at the dealership.  Therefore, the sales consultant could have to leave the dealership daily to gain two of these potential long-term prospects. The collection of these additional clients has a positive effect on the sales consultants “Pure Data Base”. We define the minimum standards for client contact information to be as follows:

· Full Name:

· Mailing Address:

· Cell Phone Number: Hoping for Cell, Business and Home.

· E-Mail Address: Hoping for both personal and business e-mail address.

Five-A-Day-Keeps-The-Bill Collectors Away: This daily update activity is simply reviewing the sales consultants current “Pure Data Base” for five (5) contacts with incomplete information, especially E-Mail addresses. This adds email addresses to the associates personal “Pure Data Base”. This activity also supports touching our owner base once a quarter just to keep in touch. As with all aspects of this activity, the coach’s support insures follow-through. 

Conclusion:

The sales consultant “Pure Data Base” grows incrementally daily. This leads to monthly e-mail distributions highlighting the sales consultants over the dealership.  This and all daily plan activities lead to Face-To-Face business meetings with our clients who ask for our sales consultants by name when they arrive. Final result, increased closing ratio, gross profit, client advocacy and associate engagement. The clients especially appreciate working with someone who developed some sort of relationship of trust over time. Simply stated, a “Win/Win” relationship and business transaction.

Visit Our Virtual On-Line Training Center at: www.garytilkin.com

Why Changing Business Behavior

Is So Difficult

My Thoughts Exactly, January 2011

By Gary Tilkin

CEO and Founder of Gary Tilkin Consultants, Inc.

My Thoughts Exactly Overview:

As this New Year of 2011 begins, we have to look forward to the opportunities that we have OR can create. Regardless of the business you represent, improvements are accomplished “In And Through The Voluntary Cooperation Of Your Team Members”. We as managers, executives, and business owners CAN’T DO IT BY OURSELVES.  Therefore, this article is about why changing our associate’s business behavior is so difficult, yet possible. It also focuses on how we can change our own business behavior if we choose to do so.

Our Mind Is Just A “House” Of Experiences:

Consider your mind a “House” that has no windows and one door.  The one door opens inward and only allows experiences, thoughts and memories to enter. Once these items enter, they cannot get out. Some of these experiences we can control and other happen randomly without our consent.  Regardless, they shape our future, lives, reactions, and how we deal with even the most mundane situations.

Why We React The Way I Do:

For now, let me ask you to buy-in to the “House” concept; later you can choose to discredit it if you like. For sake of an example, here are two real life experience of mine. When I was in fourth grade I had the tip of my index finger on my left hand chopped off. I can’t remember what happened five minutes before the event or after. I have no problem talking or even joking about the experience. However, if I even get a paper cut at age 53, my entire body starts to shake uncontrollably. Another example is when I was 20 years old I bought something from a local store. It was very expensive and broke, but I did not have the receipt. Everyone I asked told me the store would not EVER take it back without a receipt. I took it back anyway and got a full refund. To this day, I have no hesitation to return any item to any store.

These completely different experiences effect my actions and reactions. One experience I had very little control over while other was a conscience decision.  So how does this effect “Business Behavior”.

Effecting Business Behavior:

When a member of your team or yourself did a task or approached a situation, you started a pattern. That information went into your personal “House”. Over time you re-enforced the experience by doing it again and becoming comfortable with the steps or sequence. Now what if those familiar steps were stopping you from living your true potential? What if that sequence was limiting your success? Let’s say you short cut a professional sales presentation or yell instead of having a normal business conversation. Now we have an issue that is much more complex and is not easy to fix, especially if you attempt to go into it alone. So what is solution?

Accept The Assistance From Your Management/Coaching Team:

“A manager’s job is to get their people act and react properly.  Therefore the manager will need to be crystal clear on what proper looks, smells and tastes like.”

As a manager, you must realize that the improper business behavior is not done to make you upset, mad, or as a method to do the wrong thing. The business behavior was learned; put in the associates “House”; re-enforced; and made familiar through repetition.  Our job as a manager is to put positive business behaviors in the associates “House” to neutralize  the negative.  Just realize that it is not a one for one split. Instead, it is a one for one hundred split.  This means you have to put one hundred times the good stuff in to over whelm one bad behavior.  Also, you simply can’t stop putting the good stuff in. Remember, the “House” bad stuff is really deep and the good stuff simply puts a blanket over it. If the good stuff stops coming in the “House” the bad stuff starts to surface again. Now you know why people don’t immediately change just because they want too or you ask them too.

Managers Make The Difference:

As a manager we now have a different perspective and approach towards correcting Business Behavior. Now, we know that we can change behaviors if we stay the course, stay focused, stay calm and look for opportunities to have one-on-one conversations with our team. It is a matter of constant re-enforcement of the right stuff in the “House”. It is also immediately debriefing behavior to compliment correct behavior and address incorrect behavior. These one-on-one meetings with our team member are called the Film/Debrief and are the cornerstone of managers changing behaviors. Just like what a football coach would do after the game by reviewing the film. Now if you run your organization, how quickly do you think you could change your entire teams’ business behaviors, if you had each of your managers “Crystal Clear” on what right was and how to Enforce Right consistently as a team. Just “Think of the possibilities.”

Want More Information On This Topic:

If you want more information on the topic or to have your team personally developed by Gary Tilkin, please contact him through e-mail (gary.tilkin@garytilkin.com) or phone (1.205.540.7371). Until we meet again, remember to “Always Be A Professional For Life”.

Effectively Managing and Coaching

Business Behaviors

By Gary Tilkin, CEO

Gary Tilkin Consultants, Inc.

Author, Performance Improvement Consultant, and Facilitator

We as managers, coaches, developers and architects of our organizations seem to have a re-occurring issue with the excessive use of ANGER.  Ok, not the best way to start a management article, but I do have your attention now, don’t I?  If we were to be completely honest with ourselves, we would admit that there were times in our management career where we simply lost it with either an associate or our team.  This resulted with either saying some things that was uncalled for or doing something where the punishment did not meet the crime.  A dealer associate of mine put it well when he said;

“If I ever get really angry as the dealer principle it is a real issue. The reason is when I say, ‘Off with their heads’, there is no way to recover!”

Therefore, today we will learn about management and emotions as our developmental topic.

·         First, psychologists state that, “when you are emotional or angry, you cannot be logical or strategic”. When you are dealing with your associates you attempt to “get them to act and react properly”. Proper would refer to their Business Behavior and should never focus on them personally.

·         Second, if every time an associate does not follow-through or achieve an objective/task, you thought they were either doing it to make you mad and or they are lazy; you are dead wrong. They are just reverting back to what they know best and have done so often in the past. It is mostly habit and rarely personal. 

·         Third, when you get emotional or angry, do not meet with your associates. If it happens, pause the meeting until you can get back to being strategic and logical.

·         Forth, our job is to assist the associate in doing a better job with the future “Business Behaviors” voluntarily. So the next time the situation should come up, the associate will naturally do the right thing.

Understanding Key Descriptors of Correcting Ineffective Business Behaviors

·         Free Will: We start with the concept of “Free Will”. We all have it and use it in every decision we make, regardless of size or importance of that decision. No one, and I mean no one, controls our “Free Will” except us.

·         Process Available Information: For a brief instant when a “Free Will” decision presents itself, we as human beings process internally all the information, experiences and input we have on the subject. In other words, our past experiences drive our future decisions.

·         Path: Now we choice what to do or to not do anything. This choice is selecting a “Path” that was directly influenced by the “Process of Available Information” stimulated by the control we have in making our own “Free Will” decisions. As we go down this initial “Path”, many more decisions are made that affect our outcome, results, and/or “End Game”.

·         Consequences:  With any “Path” that one takes there are “Consequences” that fall into three categories. They are:

1.       Positive

2.       Negative and

3.       Neutral. 

As so many of you already know from the many training sessions we have done together, the majority of consequences I have had were placed on me by my past managers. Most of them were negative in nature. Today, we look at this concept simply as the result of the “Path” we have selected for ourselves.  If we take the right “Path” we get better “End Game” results which relate directly to our final “Consequences”.

The How-To’s of Correcting Ineffective Business Behaviors

Since we, as managers and coaches, are not in control of our associates “Free Will” choices, we need to focus our attention on the area of when associates “Process Available Information”.  We do this by using a technique called “Memory Trace”. Simply stated, we give the associate a memory (Positive or Negative) that immediately comes to their minds when they are in a specific situation, particularly where they have made incorrect “Business Behavior “ decisions in the past. So before the initial “Path” is selected, they remember the “Consequences” of their past action and then choose the new specific “Path” .

Example of A Memory Trace

An example of a positive “Memory Trace” happened to me with a GREAT coach and mentor, Mr. Dick Chitty. He was one of the most respected high ranking Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A. executives prior to his retirement. Mr. Chitty would watch me facilitate an event from the “Eye-In-The-Sky” camera at the University of Toyota and Lexus College main presentation room. When the break would come, he would visit with me and say;

“Gary, I simply love it when you repeat the participants question prior to processing it. Can you teach all the other 45 facilitators to do the same thing?  You are a real pro.”

Well, guess what I thought about every time a participant asked me a question from then on. Mr. Chitty repeated this brief coaching session with me often and now the “Business Behavior” is second nature. The key for Mr. Chitty and each of us is to address the “Business Behavior” quickly and frequently in order build the second nature future habit. What a GREAT influence he was to me and others.

Assignment for Each of You

So your assignment is to “Professionally Model” Mr. Chitty’s approach. Look for opportunities to have those “Coachable Moments” with your associates. Make it your quest to influence them with “Memory Traces” so they can “Processing Available Information” better in the future, leading to a strategic better initial “Path” selection.  My only advice to all of you is when having a direct and difficult conversation with your associate, attempt to correct poor “Business Behaviors” by,

1.       Never Make It Personal

2.       Never Have The Conversation When You Are Angry

3.       Focus On Your Disappointment Of Their “Business Behavior”

4.       Leave the Conversation With A Mutual Acceptable Future “PATH”

Until our next time together, remember always to be a “Professional for Life”.

If You Have a Copy of Gary Tilkin’s “Electronic Playbook”,

All Materials Provided Are Supported In

The “Culture” Section Of The Main Matrix.